One read in particular stands out.
A mother and blogger calling herself Vidyut writes a stunning five-part series of articles titled “A Life in Clothes”. This is a memoir chronicling her life so far as a rebellious child in an abusive home, as a teenager dropping out of school to get into a disastrous marriage, then as a divorcee mountaineering instructor and nomad reinventing herself over and over to “learn” each new place she is forced to move to because of social approbation, and finally to now as a city dwelling mom remarried to another abusive man.
 |
| Photo © Vidyut |
It’s so interesting to note what exactly people consider to be her “failures”, and the exact source of all her struggles. This basic source takes many forms: it is her father forcing modest clothes on her all through her childhood with violence and even now through adulthood with trickery; it is her many “friends” freezing her out simply because they don’t know how to interact with a divorcee; it is the varied cast of the men in her life who cannot cope with her strength and talent without feeling emasculated; it is her two mothers-in-law who insist that she make her peace with ‘a woman’s lot’ even though they agree their sons are abusive. But the source of all this is one and the same: an all powerful patriarchy boxing women into subhuman containers marked “daughter” and “wife” and “mother” with never a thought given to her humanity.
Just imagine this story taking place in a westerm country. Would Vidyut even cause anyone to bat a single solitary eyelash? A three year old running around naked in the house? Cute! A high school dropout? That’s someone who needs help and second chances! A divorcee? What a quaint word to describe someone completely normal. A mountain climber and horse breeder? What a catch she would be for the most eligible bachelors!
In America, Vidyut’s life would be almost boring. In India, it is a monumental struggle.
The thing I find beyond amazing is that all of this reads like a success story. And in context, it is! Against all her overwhelming odds, she emerges wise and strong and powerful, more in control of her own life than any of the other women or even men who surround her. Imagine that. This is a woman stuck in an abusive marriage. How far has Indian society fallen that this is the best we have to offer someone like her?
I’ve been trying for a long time to find the words to show exactly why feminism is “still” so necessary. Now I don’t need to. Read about Vidyut, and you’ll see for yourself.
